HeartBroken

by Angela Miller

(Quick note by Todd, Carson's Dad: It will be 9 years this July since I last saw my son, Carson. I am compelled to share Angela's blog, a Mom who shares a most personal and undeniable truth. Angela's message has been Julie's message, that "heartbreak" is real. Thank you, Angela, for such deeply affirming words.)

Fact: “Broken heart syndrome,” also called stress-induced cardiomyopathy, is real. You absolutely can die from a broken heart. Child loss really is that painful. It is the most painful, horrific trauma a human could ever possibly endure.

Ask any bereaved parent, he or she will tell you. Each and every grieving parent is probably nodding in agreement right now. We are not shocked by this. We know how true it is, because we live with the horrific pain every second of every day. We know the unimaginable pain and suffering a grieving parent endures for a lifetime.

There is no word strong enough to describe the lifelong pain of outliving your child. Children are not supposed to die before their parents. It is an out-of-order death. It feels wrong on every level. There truly are no words for the depth of pain a parent endures from child loss. The pain is so great, it really can kill you. And if it doesn’t kill you, you live with a broken heart for the rest of your life.

There is no cure for the pain and heartache of child loss. It breaks a parent’s heart. Literally. This is why child loss is a loss unlike any other kind of loss. A parent never “gets over” the loss of their child. Their grief lasts forever because their love for their child lasts forever. And the empty space their child leaves behind can never, ever be filled.

Living without our child for the rest of our lives is a kind of suffering we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy. The pain of child loss never really ends— as long as we live and breathe, we will love and miss and ache for our child.

The heartbreak never ends. Compassionate support and unconditional love are literally life-saving to a bereaved parent.


May every bereaved parent find this kind of love and support.

ANGELA MILLER is an internationally known ​writer and speaker. She is the #1 bestselling author of You Are the Mother of All Mothers and ​founder of the award-winning online community ABedForMyHeart.com​. ​Angela’s article 7 Things I’ve Learned Since the Loss of My Child has been shared over 1 million times. Her work has been widely featured in Forbes, People Magazine, Psychology Today, CBS News, Yahoo News, The Huffington Post, MPR, BlogTalk Radio, The Gottman Institute, Listen to Your Mother, and more​. Angela’s writing has comforted millions of hurting hearts around the world.