Dad is Singing to the Baby

by Julie Brooks

As the official day to celebrate Fathers' Day comes to an end, I wanted to share a picture that is hanging in my closet. My closet is an art museum full of all 5 kids' artwork. (ran out of space on the refrigerator)

This piece of artwork is priceless, because the artist is no longer living.

Carson Brooks drew this picture when he was 7 years old, and Pierce, our 5th child (who will be 21 years old this month) was due in a couple of weeks at that time.

I loved how Carson drew Todd singing to the baby!

Oh, the memories I am thankful for; even though they are gut-wrenching with the pain of Carson's absence. 

I will let the prayers roll out of the corner of my eyes to release the pain that will always be with me.

Lord, I know you have called me to minister to those struggling with mental illness, and to help their families understand how they can learn about their loved one's illness. Todd and I will continue to facilitate #GraceAlliance Family and Living Grace groups.

Every time a child takes their life, Lord, my heart breaks. I pray others will want to get involved; whatever they can do.

#evenasmilecanchangeapersonsday #keyministry #mentalhealthgracealliance

In the Palm of My Hand

by Julie Brooks


These are the small scripture cards I made and carried in the palm of my hand, to remind me that God was near when Carson was having a hard time with his illness.

I also carried them even after he took His life.

"God's Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light into my path." Psalm 119:105

HeartBroken

by Angela Miller

(Quick note by Todd, Carson's Dad: It will be 9 years this July since I last saw my son, Carson. I am compelled to share Angela's blog, a Mom who shares a most personal and undeniable truth. Angela's message has been Julie's message, that "heartbreak" is real. Thank you, Angela, for such deeply affirming words.)

Fact: “Broken heart syndrome,” also called stress-induced cardiomyopathy, is real. You absolutely can die from a broken heart. Child loss really is that painful. It is the most painful, horrific trauma a human could ever possibly endure.

Ask any bereaved parent, he or she will tell you. Each and every grieving parent is probably nodding in agreement right now. We are not shocked by this. We know how true it is, because we live with the horrific pain every second of every day. We know the unimaginable pain and suffering a grieving parent endures for a lifetime.

There is no word strong enough to describe the lifelong pain of outliving your child. Children are not supposed to die before their parents. It is an out-of-order death. It feels wrong on every level. There truly are no words for the depth of pain a parent endures from child loss. The pain is so great, it really can kill you. And if it doesn’t kill you, you live with a broken heart for the rest of your life.

There is no cure for the pain and heartache of child loss. It breaks a parent’s heart. Literally. This is why child loss is a loss unlike any other kind of loss. A parent never “gets over” the loss of their child. Their grief lasts forever because their love for their child lasts forever. And the empty space their child leaves behind can never, ever be filled.

Living without our child for the rest of our lives is a kind of suffering we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy. The pain of child loss never really ends— as long as we live and breathe, we will love and miss and ache for our child.

The heartbreak never ends. Compassionate support and unconditional love are literally life-saving to a bereaved parent.


May every bereaved parent find this kind of love and support.

ANGELA MILLER is an internationally known ​writer and speaker. She is the #1 bestselling author of You Are the Mother of All Mothers and ​founder of the award-winning online community ABedForMyHeart.com​. ​Angela’s article 7 Things I’ve Learned Since the Loss of My Child has been shared over 1 million times. Her work has been widely featured in Forbes, People Magazine, Psychology Today, CBS News, Yahoo News, The Huffington Post, MPR, BlogTalk Radio, The Gottman Institute, Listen to Your Mother, and more​. Angela’s writing has comforted millions of hurting hearts around the world.

I Still Miss the Sound of Your Voice

by Todd Brooks

Be it not for the grace of Jesus Christ, I would be undone. 

Each day,
grief wakes with me,
walks with me,
clouds my vision...
steals pieces of joy. 

But,
grief will not win in the end, for my God is
greater than my grief
and sorrow
and fear
and uncertainty
and depression
and weakness
and suffering.

For,
He can walk on water,
He can raise the dead,
He can hold all things in even one hand
and most amazing of all,
He chased after me,
the one that ran away,
leaving behind the ninety-nine;
never failing to continue His love pursuit...
until catching me before I fell.

Though grief may continue to daily flow under me, so will the presence of his Majesty, the One who saved me, and He will continue to intercede and prevail against all evil on my behalf. For victory is His, and He is mine.

Thanks to the Son, I will see my son again. Amen.