Break My Heart for What Breaks Yours, Lord

by Julie Brooks

It is not difficult to feel broken a lot when you are struggling with the loss of a child and trying to take every opportunity to save another child during his struggle with Bipolar disorder. There are days when our youngest son says, "I just want to go to heaven to be with Carson."

In that moment, my heart sinks, and an irrational thought goes through my mind, "Why should I ask our son to stay on earth and endure the gut wrenching pain and uncertainty of this erratic illness called Bipolar?"

But, then I hear a calming whisper from the Lord, "Just go with me on this journey, and I will teach you how to help your son and the others that share your journey with their love ones, suffering with mental illness."

I know that the Lord's track record is 100% in keeping His promises, so I go with His lead. I will trust the Lord to care for our son minute by minute, and to show me how I can be His instrument by using my heart to be broken for what breaks His.

Since Carson took his life and went to be with the Lord, it is not hard to have a broken heart. Day by day, the Lord is putting the pieces of my heart back together; the pieces don't fit together nice and neat because they have been scattered. But, the heart He is putting back together for me will be so much stronger, because He is building me a new one, piece by piece and day by day!

Lord, I pray this day for your continued guidance in this journey. Please awaken Christians to be willing to open their hearts to see those suffering with mental illness.  Give them a desire to educate themselves and take your lead to bring understanding and support where there is none! Amen.

Please visit http://www.bpchildren.org/ for website resources, links and books.

God is Our Hope

by Julie Brooks

Even though this ten month anniversary of Carson going to live with the Lord is hard to imagine, and only by the grace of God we find comfort, God is our only HOPE to bring a change in the way society views mental illness (Bipolar).

It is our calling as Christians to help and support those suffering and their family members, that see their loved one's pain as they suffer.

Please join me in praying for an awakening among Christians. God is in the restoration business, and I want to be His #1 obedient servant to help do His work!

I love you Carson. Mom

For This Memorial Day Choose Life

by Todd Brooks

As we remember those who fought and fight to give us freedom in the United States of America, I remember that Carson shared with his mother and I that he had spoken to several service recruiters on multiple occasions. He wanted to join. He felt that purpose and was not afraid to respond. It hurt him deeply that his bipolar condition could not be accepted. He understood, but he was deeply hurt, allthemore a sign to him that because of his condition, he was rejected.

Judging by all of the comments I see on Carson's Facebook Memorial Page, I suspect he was a true warrior for the many; many of you, but he just didn't realize it.

Thank you all for your continued memorial comments to Facebook. Never feel ashamed to offer your hurting heart to others, and please do not be burdened for Carson, for Carson is no longer burdened.

Do not take your own life, for your heartbeat is melded into a fabric that covers many, maybe hundreds, maybe thousands. Each person you know, that knows you, knows of you, knows you through a friend, knows a friend through you, has heard of you in a story, has watched you from afar then told someone else; all of these are in the same fabric cover with you and me. Pull one thread, and the whole garment is touched, thrown inexplicably out of kilter, with utter consequences likely.

You matter, even when you don't believe you do. Tell someone you are hurting. Let them help. They want to help. Don't give up. We need you with us!

I may sound like a broken record, but please give your heart to Jesus Christ. While we need and must maintain our freedom as American citizens, do not forget that you have a Saviour that has already secured eternal freedom and Heavenly Citizenship for you; an invitation to everyone, with no strings attached but to trust in Him.

Carson didn't know he would be bound with the chronic Bipolar disorder burden, and while he was still in right mind, at seven years old, he reached out, and Jesus took his hand, so that even now as I continue to mourn his loss, I know where my boy is. Jesus never failed Carson.

Do you know what tomorrow will bring? Are you sure you will be alive, coherent, functioning? Not a day is promised, but if you give your life to Jesus Christ today, right now, an eternity with Him IS promised.

Thank you all for your words of encouragement over this past year. We are blessed that you would make the time to think of Carson.

Todd Brooks (Carson's Dad)
Jeremiah 33:3

Bipolar Fact Friday #5

A bipolar individual may be unable to make the connection between mood swings and their Bipolar disorder. Parents can usually more accurately describe the child's behavior than the child himself.